May 7th, 2026 – Reflections
Today was one of the toughest of my life. I had my son with me. He is my comfort and my support. He is my energy. But it was still hard. Today, I remembered one of the happiest days of my life. A day of new hope and beginnings. The declaration and vows for a love I thought would last forever. A love that, in the end, turned sorrowful in a way I never thought possible. I will always treasure that love, It will never die, for it lives forever in time and space, but maybe not in the here and now. They say love is eternal, and it will never die. I truly believe that to be true, even though I cannot touch it now.
I will go on without her. I will find a way forward. But my heart will forever have a place in the past we shared. I miss those times. The simple joys of our garden, shopping, taking little trips together. Those were some of the happiest times of my life, and I hope that one day those memories will be looked back on fondly… that love was real.
I know that we can never be together again. We can never get past what happened between us. I am not a perfect person, but I wanted to be her perfect person. I do not think I was the problem either, even though I had not learned how to give her what she needed when she needed it the most. I failed in that, I know. But I think that when all is said and done, a person has to find the answers they seek within themselves; to find a truth that is real to themselves and that gives the peace and growth they seek. I wish I could have brought the one I loved to that that place, but it is their journey, and not one for me to share.
To all who read this, go forward in peace. Find your own love and happiness. I will find mine, but it will be without something that was precious to me. And as you read this blog, please think of me as your friend. And if you are in pain, maybe one day we will meet together in a place of joy and happiness. That is my hope and desire, and I hope it will one day be your own destination.
Sometimes loving someone means accepting that their path no longer includes you. To love yourself, you must find your own path.
Healing from Pain 